We all have dualistic tendencies. We have sides of our personalities that are warmer and some that are colder. Some that are deep and some that are surface. Some that are darker and some that are lighter.
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Society has a lot to say about who we should be in the world. And so some of our less celebrated personality aspects are hidden away, saved for those closest to us or sometimes for no one other than ourselves.
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Nothing gives me more energy than some time alone. I’ve always been this way, and yet because of expectation or conditioning or a need for acceptance I’ve always seen value in only the more social, bubbly, outgoing side of my personality, with a tendency to put the quieter more introverted side of me on the back-burner.
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Her needs always to come second to the side of me that loves holding a good martini in a nice dress out with my favorite people.
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And sometimes the martini me is exactly the version of me that I need to express, but more often than not it’s just the version of me that I feel the safest being.
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We all have that version. The aspect of ourselves we have decided is the most likable, the most beautiful, and just generally the most accepted. It’s the mask you’ve learned to wear to feel protected and secure.
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What I’ve learned is that constantly being that version of you, isn’t how you grow.
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Integration of all of the aspects of ourselves is how we garner self-acceptance, worthiness and confidence. Boundaries for society, for friends, for work, and even for family are key to giving the version of you, you always put on the back-burner a place in the spotlight.
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So, say no, be weird, piss someone off. You’ll be surprised at how quickly being your whole self will get you where you want to go.
xoxo
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